Yeah, so ten years ago I wouldn't even be able to imagine myself where I am today. Ten years ago I was 22 and I was working but partying all the time, alcohol, coke, heroin, ecstasy, whatever. (Never used needles.) I got burnt out on the pot and acid by 18. I was a mess squared, haha. Clueless and looking for something I was missing even though I wasn't aware of it.
I'm still kind of obtuse but so much more grounded. Being married, settled, and having finished my MA degree is pretty amazing.
Life when I lived in Providence was the craziest. I had a blast but also some of the worst times of my life. My friend Lou, who died about ten years ago now, is someone who I love and remember fondly to this day...even though he couldn't escape his demons the way I managed to somehow. Thinking about him still hurts, it's bittersweet, and I just try to realize his lack of ability to save himself was no one's fault. And that I need to go in the opposite direction he did and try to make some positive changes in this world, even if they are just small ones.
Lou and my old friend Jef are two people who I will always wish were still alive and I wish sometimes still that I could show their examples, as well as my more successful one, to all the other lost kids out there. I know that is impossible, but maybe at some point in the future I could do something along those lines, on a local scale or something.
And I'll keep reading and training and living. Cheers. :)
